After the abortion is over, is it over? Women may tell you,
“I was not ready to be a mother.”
“I could not afford a baby.”
“I was raped.”
There are many reasons women choose to have an abortion. Each woman’s personal experience is different.
Each person is unique. Just as everyone has an individual fingerprint, they deal with life’s experiences differently. One person may react with screams and terror to a situation, another may feel emotionally numb, while another might experience a delayed reaction, unexplained panic attacks, or night terrors.
The brain is remarkable. As humans experience the ups and downs of life, the brain adjusts to the impact of these experiences in the areas of emotions, memory, spirituality, physical body, and many others. Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk, in his book, The Body Keeps the Score, states the following:
“Being traumatized means continuing to organize your life as if the trauma were still going on – unchanged and immutable – as every new encounter or event is contaminated by the past.” (3) If you are experiencing a negative response after an abortion, it may impact your life in ways you don’t recognize. Maybe you are just a bit more serious or tense in your response to the events of your life. Maybe you are more tired or always short tempered with those in your life.
Just as we all have a unique fingerprint; and a different response to the challenges of life, no one can predict how a person will respond after an abortion. Dr. Steven Porges, after decades of research, has written a book called Polyvagal Theory. “Polyvagal theory is a scientific framework that explains how the nervous system controls our body’s responses to stress and safety.”
He theorizes that the human nervous system informs us of safety or danger in a situation. Not only does it govern staying and fighting or running away in times of danger, but it also sends unconscious signals of safety or danger in social situations. When someone experiences a traumatic event or chronic stress, the nervous system can be thrown off balance. This leads to difficulty interacting with others, or even complete lack of interaction with others. (2) How does this look in a practical sense? The person may feel helpless or nervous when around others in a social situation. They may be “extremely tired, cranky and irritable. There may be a loss of energy or motivation, decreased heart rate and blood pressure, shallow breathing and a sense of emotional detachment or apathy.” For example, if someone terminates a pregnancy, tells no one out of fear or lack of support and then 10 years later is married and experiencing fertility issues, may begin to make an association in her mind that if she had not had the abortion, she would not have any issues now. There may be no scientific relationship between the fertility challenges and the previous pregnancy termination, but the woman may draw these conclusions due to the psychological impact of having terminated the pregnancy.
Someone else may find that they are “short-tempered” with those who are closest to them. They may not be able to find the cause.
It is important to acknowledge that there is a possibility that the brain might perceive having an abortion as a traumatic event and, if this happens, the body may have a response. If you have had an abortion, and are having symptoms, it is essential to know that a good counselor can help you work through it. Ask yourself, “Is the abortion over?”
You may feel alone in dealing with a past abortion. Our caring staff is here to listen. We can also refer you to a professional counselor if you feel that would be helpful. All our services are free and confidential. For help after an abortion,
Text 484-946-3885
Call 610-376-0828
Bibliography
- Kelner, David, 2023 “Understanding Polyvagal Theory: Unraveling the Mind-Body Connection”, solacefamilycounseling.com
- Porges, Steven W., M.D., 2011, Polyvagal Theory, W.W. Norton & Company
- Van Der Kolk, Bessel, M.D., 2015, The Body Keeps the Score, Penguin Books